I dissappoint...

So, after Ci i spent another couple days in socal. And it was a cool couple days.*I should be doing my essay but let me do this really quick.* So the day of New Years Eve I get a text from my sister.... she's just asking me if i'm coming back home for New Years. I told her to ask my brother because he's the one driving me back up north. Then my mom calls me. She wasn't yelling like I'm used to. She was just asking if I was coming back. And I told her no I don't think so. I feel bad as it is. She calls my brother and he says we're not and she gets mad. You see Johnny doesn't come home often. He tends to be in socal or stay up in Napa where he goes to college. All my mom wanted was to have the family in San Jose. We basically failed her. I felt terrible. Yet, Johnny didn't really. I reccently found out my mom TEXTed, yeah TEXTed I didn't know she knew how LOL, but yeah texted him," How can you be so distant from our family now * this isn't what she said I'm paraphrasing her. is that what it's called? haha* you'd rather be with your girlfriend in down south than with family? What's wrong with you?"
And you know what it hurts. I felt terrible. My dad told me when I CALLED to say happy new year, Johnny didn't i think. but yeah he told me my mom was at work because we weren't there. Right then and there. I knew my mom missed us. She doesn't tell us she misses us. She basically shows her feelings and doesn't show us vulnerability. She's truly a hardworker. I do love my Mom. I don't want to disappoint her. and well yeah I think i'll start my essay soon. I basically want to say that God works in mysterious ways because before I couldn't get along with my parents as much as I am now after this years Ci. They know I'm getting something out of it. So yeah until next time !