What Den Den said.

Fuck that man. Honestly, I've felt like this for 2 year. Best friends? bullshit. Nonsense. You just couldn't see it. thank you for opening your eyes. Damn. I've said it before and I'll say it again. ha. nvm. I've said it too much.

Spring Break.

Spring Break Recap:


Friday April 10th: Went on a field trip to SF with CVU. Pretty whack tell you the truth. I should've got my education because I've been eff'ing up recently. The museum was pretty boring, the food was whack not to be mean, didn't get much from it. Went to battle practice after for a bit was pretty fun I guess. Dances look good so far. can't wait for the skit. Noche De Fama? I think that's how you say it iunno, but we went to that after which was me ben and kristine. I thought it was whack except SCP. keep doing your thing. After that I went Francis' house and chill see what we wanted to do. We went to watch I Love You, Man with Cindy and Lisa. It was hella funny, 9/10. I guess that's all I did that day. SLAPIN THE BASS.



Saturday April 11th: It was a pretty random ass day haha.Kristine,Ben,and I started the day off going to the veterano celebration thing at the random eastside community center on jackson ave. never heard of it before haha. I thought it was pretty cool seeing war vets. yet was pretty boring. I just wanted to leave haha. I still thing that girl from overfelt is pretty cute haha. She reminds me of someone I know. and all that. haha. After that we ate at Pho 54? I think haha that was a random pho place with big bowls. haha it was good yummy. After that random thing. We went bowling at Cambrian for the first time, well my first time. It was funny haha we only played one game and bounced. wow. lol. We went to Oakridge and I bought a skinboard and Red Vans I thought looks sick and they are rare. they don't even make them. "Samplers." then after that we had 1 more random thing to do and that was BUY HAMSTERS! hahaha. Ben said I wasn't down, but I was (:. His name is randle. and He's named after how random the day was. haha. I don't remember what I did at night so lets leave it at that. Nevermind I remember I went to a kickback at Kevin Lemos' friends place. Pretty chill haha.




Sunday April 12th: I woke up and went to Church. Met up with Ben and Ian, then we saw Clarissa and Victoria Balls. We sat with each other. After that went to Jolibee and I finally ate meat for the first time in 2 months? haha I felt accomplished. Then after that went to the family party for a bit. Chillen. after that went to Francis' for his Parents Wedding Anniversary Surprise Party meet up lol. I saw Erica Tan for the first time in forever which was pretty cool. We need to hang out with that girl more often. Anyways. The Surprise party was in SF and it was cool. Cindy Ben and I walked in a bit late to say surprise but I saw Francis' Dad cry. It was awesome. I mean the atmosphere was all loving and caring. Really Sentimental moment in anyones life. The Nepecena siblings all had speeches and Christian was hella crying haha. but all good. Ben even tear'd. I felt happy. I mean dang I wanna do that for my parents sometime in the next couple years. We'll plan something for sure. After that we all wanted to leave for our SOCAL trip early so we did some of the shopping early when we got back to SanJo. Had a fight with my sister about taking her car and ended up taking the new Benz.*thanks dad love ya.* Got set for our adventure and drove about 4 and a half hours there.


Monday April 13th: STARTED OFF THE WORST EVER. Bought a hotel room which sucked. Didn't turn out what we wanted and we couldn;'t even have 7 of us in 1 room. hella whack. I refunded the rooms. Ended up homeless for 2 hours until God answered our prayers and got us a sweet Bungalow House for 189 a night! omy... thanks for giving us Santina for that offer. She's a life saver. A vacation savior! haha. We basically chilled the whole day saw the beach went in the pool took a nap and went to the irvine spectrum. ended off the night chillen and went to bed. Greatest hotel room ever.


Tuesday April 14th: Magic Mountain. Pretty cool. Bummed we didn't go on many rides. That's what the summers for! woot. haha. Roscoes Chicken and Waffles IS BOMB. Loved it. haha. Got home made a some dinner for our last night there and had some fun activities the rest of the night (:.

Wednesday April 15th: Tattoo day. Woke up. Destined to get a Tat. Found a couple places. Chilled with Carleah in the morning but she left early boo. Once we got to Ink Kandy it was basically set. We had a funny ass Tattoo artist name Jamie. He looked pretty OG haha. Francis went first. Got his parents names on his chest. That was pretty cool. Then I went. I took a really long time. It was like 1.5 hours. Pretty crazy. It didn't hurt much til the end. Just got annoying. I think it was a success because Ben got one too of his parents names and their wedding date. So cool. We ate after and headed home. And the end of our Spring Break Socal adventure.


Thursday April 15th: Battle Practice, Petco, Home, Bowling at night. I was pooped the night before. Nothing much after Slept.


Friday April 16th: Battle Practice, Santa Cruz with my cousins, and went home. Nothing at night went to sleep tired. Haha Sorry Lisa for knocking out early hehe.

Saturday April 17th: Berkeley with the cousins. Saw a Tahitian Competition with them. Pretty cool I guess. After ate some chinese food with the cousins. Hella good food. I think we should go there again haha. After that drove home got home around 10ish. Chilled with Lisa and Francis haha. Good Times man. Just chillen on our last saturday doing random ass stuff hahahhaa.

Sunday April 18th: Chill Day at a Berkeley again in the morning. Didn't do much. Just ate went home and chilled. How fun haha. What a last day....





All in all. Bonding was the main thing for me this break and I did. A lot of things got off my chest and all that. I think it was a very productive break. I need to concentrate on graduation big time now only in english. every other class is nothing compared to that class. I'm done basically. A couple more months man. Almost over. Time flies by fast. So many moments to look back to after a while man. I love Breaks. I miss my bestfriend. She doesn't have time to talk to me haha she's so busy. She doesn't even blog about me. I read her blog and her life is crazy. But I guess I understand? haha. whatevs. Good night world.

Hiya!

Vacation is comming up and I am very excited for our trip going down south with a couple of the homies. I kinda wanted more of them to go and i think there is still hope! Ian might make it through hopefully and maybe josh. If all goes according to plan, we can have 8-9. Lets see so far it's me,cindy,lisa,ben,jp,betty,and francis. Hopefully cindy and francis resolve things. I want our vacation in Socal to be fun and exciting for eVeryone! AnyWays, I think this is going to be the plan. We might get a rent a car, hopefully my dad gets it for us, it'll be cheaper on everyone, drive there monday morning 3ish or something, grab a bite to eat on the way, get our bags in early and go around LA, and visit carleah for the day. Then have the rest of the night to chill before magic mountain the next day. Tuesday, we have to wake up hella early and get to magic and have the whole day to have fun haha. I wanted in the beginning 10+ people to come through but a lot of people had well not to be mean flaked or had a good reason not to go, but whatevs. I feel like grabbing the 10 tickets anyways for the 7 that';s going is going to be a good price because we can sell them after in the front for cheaper and we can all get in for 20 bucks cheaper haha. I wanna go so bad, magic mountain is hella fun and I bet everyone will have hella fun. Hopefully tuesday has some good weather. Maybe after magic we can grab a bite to eat at tsunamis on tuesday so we can all go have some bomb ass sushi haha. and then head back to the hotel and chill for the rest of the last night there. Wednesday is going to be chill, maybe we might leave early or late depending on if everyone is feeling chillen there for a longer amount of time haha. I have to head back early for the for meeting which I have 2 times a week now -_- boo, but it's all worth it. Woot we got first in prebattle! hella sick with it! Ben Ian Laura and Estelle oh and I had a hella fun time with it and thought we'd get top 3 and ended up getting to the top (: haha sweet.

I think this week has gone by super fast. And this spring break is going according to plan kinda, yet I am still sad about losing the 5 star hotel with a rooftop pool :[, but we substituted it for the beach side view so it's okay (:. I feel like I've done my part in running this and taking control of planning it because if i didn't I don't think anybody would've had stepped up but me to plan this socal trip. after the trip I hope i feel accomplished and feel good because I want everyone to have fun. And not only fun, but I want us to have a better bond with each other and have the greatest time just chillen with the homies and just getting closer with each other. It's gonna be fun Imma have a blast driving there haha.





Okay I ran out with things to talk about.......





ME ?!?! :)



























Auto Response from i is viviane (11:27:19 PM): Yes Justin I'll go to prom with you! =)


hahahha yeeeeee! :]

I feel.....

So distant to my best friend. I just need to say it already. my horoscope says:No matter how creative you feel today, it's not going to be that easy to charm your way through the current difficulties. In fact, if you attempt to push people too hard or too fast, something will have to give. Granted, the tensions can be played out through personal drama, but delays are merely symptoms of a deeper issue that also needs attention. Deal with any obstacles that come up now, for avoidance will only make matters worse.

And yeah it isn't easy. I feel like she says she's stressed and she says she's struggling, but in pictures and in her bulletins it seems like she's just fine without me. Like she doesn't need me anymore. I don't know. There are days where I, ME, I want someone to talk to. I needed her before,but now it's not so reassuring that she's there. Sometimes she wants to wait til later on at night to talk, but recently I've just been too tired to stay up til 12 or 1 or whatever. I liked it when she'd put things down just to talk to me. I mean I drop whatever I'm doing for her, yet she doesn't do the same. I understand that things aren't going her way at the moment, but damn that's life right? I mean I really want her to know how things are going with me, she doesn't know ANYTHING about what has happen for at least half a year. Maybe even more. I know things about her because I'm there. I AM THERE. where are you =/. things aren't the same without you. Sometimes I think you forget about me, but every time I do there's always something like dude wtf. I do miss you. dude. We need to talk SOOON. SOOON? when is soon. soon never comes because soon isn't soon at all. I don't even know when soon is. it sucks the opportunity to catch up is this weekend and I'm not going to be able to make it. shit. It's not being mad, or disapointed or anything. I'm so proud of you. One of the hardest workers I know. It's just sometimes I think we aren't even friends anymore. yeah best has been long gone for the longest time. and knowing that we've become distant I tend to stop missing you because hey you're happy. Obviously happy without me. And you know what it'll get better for you. all this school stress, guy problems, it'll dissapear Micah. Just keep doing what you're doing I love you best friend. I'm here.


"And it's great cause I noticed that you're happier, even if it ain't with me, you're living better."

Acceptance.

So lets talk about the weekend shall we? Friday was pretty fun. "All-Nighter" for fantastics. I don't think I've been to one really. It was funny. I came around 700 did some painting for a while. then til like 130 i chilled with ben ian jp amanda cindy clarissa*she was doing work.* and erika with a K ? i don't know lol. anyways it was funny just chillen and all that. then I realized everyone left that was there and I needed to help them. Oh did i forget I practiced dancing the couples dance with my partner. How fun... who am I kidding. It's pretty darn sad, but It's whatever. I'm okay with everything? I think. I'll leave it be because it's not going to lead anywhere. Well yeah. After that I helped paint and then went home which was suppose to be for 15 minutes. I later realized my auntie had work. so she was showering and getting ready til 4. I went back and we painted kinda a lot after that. I think we did good. There was only 4 of us too so it was pretty productive til 630. I totally wanted to knock out after that. i slept til 930 and went home for a bit then drove to the civic at 12. I needed to rest haha. We ran through the skit a couple times. I saw the Juniors skit and everything. It was great. I mean it was over the top basically. Yet I felt like there was something about our Class that just made things special. We had our stuff on par this year. Fantastics was coming earlier and we just wasted no time to learn and get things on check. I feel like no one slacked off this year. everyone put alittle heart in it i mean come on. It was great..... The night just was great in no time it was our turn. I think we lost all our games. I feel like not to be mean but Thuy jinxed us," WHEN WE WIN." but honestly Thuy is a great leader. All the officers are. I mean they did a better job than me when I was spirit leader freshmen year, dazed and confused and retarded. You can tell they put their all in what they did. And to find out after we did an AWESOME job, we lost by one point. deeeng. Hella deep man. but EVERY class did their part man. It was a great SHOW for everyone who came to see it. Nooo one class did bad. Everyone from every class has to have props. After fantastics was sooo iunno i was out of it. lets just say that I don't want to go into details haha it's too long to say. Other than that Everything was awesome Class of 09 you rock. 3 more months guys 3 more. Don't let it get to you yet (:

I dissappoint...

So, after Ci i spent another couple days in socal. And it was a cool couple days.*I should be doing my essay but let me do this really quick.* So the day of New Years Eve I get a text from my sister.... she's just asking me if i'm coming back home for New Years. I told her to ask my brother because he's the one driving me back up north. Then my mom calls me. She wasn't yelling like I'm used to. She was just asking if I was coming back. And I told her no I don't think so. I feel bad as it is. She calls my brother and he says we're not and she gets mad. You see Johnny doesn't come home often. He tends to be in socal or stay up in Napa where he goes to college. All my mom wanted was to have the family in San Jose. We basically failed her. I felt terrible. Yet, Johnny didn't really. I reccently found out my mom TEXTed, yeah TEXTed I didn't know she knew how LOL, but yeah texted him," How can you be so distant from our family now * this isn't what she said I'm paraphrasing her. is that what it's called? haha* you'd rather be with your girlfriend in down south than with family? What's wrong with you?"
And you know what it hurts. I felt terrible. My dad told me when I CALLED to say happy new year, Johnny didn't i think. but yeah he told me my mom was at work because we weren't there. Right then and there. I knew my mom missed us. She doesn't tell us she misses us. She basically shows her feelings and doesn't show us vulnerability. She's truly a hardworker. I do love my Mom. I don't want to disappoint her. and well yeah I think i'll start my essay soon. I basically want to say that God works in mysterious ways because before I couldn't get along with my parents as much as I am now after this years Ci. They know I'm getting something out of it. So yeah until next time !

I'm finally motivated to type something up.

So it's been a while. I just read bens blog for the first time and It gave me the motivation to type what has been going on in the past couple months.

So recap. During Christmas break I was down south and spending time with family and all. After Christmas was Ci. And for those who don't know. Ci stands for, Christmas Institute or Christian Institute. Well yeah, this years Ci has probably been the most emotional, uplifting, and awesome ones in the 6 years I've been going. You'd usually go to Ci for a life check. You go and you're so excited to jump, sing, and worship the lord no doubt. And the great thing about it was you get closer to the people that you have faded away from and closer to God. It's awesome. This year I went through a phase were I was lost and I couldn't face the fact that I was losing a friend that I liked at one point, but then see her change in a quick minute. Her whole idea of life went from optimistic and happy, to having that happiness be shrouded over by drugs. And that was really like bad. She used to be so Anti-Drug. and I felt just as bad going through the same thing, but with alcohol. To make things short and simple. We finally made up after being completely alienated from each other after a big fight. You see during the 4th night and final night of Ci, I was part of this thing called Cardboard Testimonies.....



mmk well yeah I'm in it. Mine was kinda deep. It made her come up to me and just say she loves me and was sorry for everything she put me through, she put me through a lot. Just made me not want to have ANY contact with her whatsoever. and I couldn't look at her in the eye for a good long time because everytime I did.. It was hard. just to be normal around her. I lost a lot of respect for her but was still there obviously. If I saw her fall I'd pick her up because that's what I was to her. I was her pillar of support whenever anyone was putting her down. at least that's what she said to me. but yeah It got us close again and I'm not going to leave her side and I know I can go to her for anything.

Another person I can say I got to open up to is my brother. Everytime I saw his Cardboard just made things hard for me. I couldn't help but to break down in tears. It was hard. It was hard to confront him about my cardboard. The night before we had a group of leaders who haven't done a cardboard before and we just wanted to give the background about what our cardboards meant. and by far... the most emotional thing i've done in life. everyone had the craziest stories, sex, drugs and alcohol, the hate for what a father has sexual abused and tried to mess a family up. anything. Mine was just about how much I felt left out, i felts the least loved child by my parents. The sucky part was to have johnny sitting straight ahead of me looking at me. When I was growing up Johnny was the example. Not my older brother or sister. Johnny. The good student. the person that was the best at everything. I couldn't handle the pressure my parents put on me,but anyways. When I was saying it. I can just start seeing my brother's tears go down his face. I NEVER seen him cry for me or even about me. I knew he loved me of course we're brothers... but to have to see him cry was the hardest thing in my life to see. You can't imagine how much tears came out of my eyes and his eyes. I could never had imagined that. And I forgot to add.. The reason why I couldn't help breaking down and looking at my brothers cardboard is because it was about suicide... Why.. you know? the brother I HAD to look up to all these years had thoughts of suicide? No, I couldn't believe it. So that's why I HAD to open up and say what I had to say. After the group was done I had my friend Mark come up to me, just reminding me God made me different, made everyone different and unique. And it touches me everytime. He came from a family kinda the same as me. So we related to the same thing. Anyways. after we were done. My brother came to me and we just hugged for a really long time crying and just giving me comfort and telling me he's always going to be there. And we don't do this often. My family was raised to not show any emotions to each other but to be mad and yell. It's just another step to grow closer to a loved one. That's what Ci does. That's what gave me the closest friends and bestfriend. Nothing can replace them. And God is great. I think I can stop at that for today... Today was a good day even though it was raining. And to think I had planned to blog the past 2 months and only type up only 2 out of the 5 days of Ci. Yeah Ci is that crazy (:.